The Brain and Nervous System
Understanding the Polyvagal Theory
To understand the often puzzling behaviors of our children, it’s crucial to grasp the inner workings of our brains and the dynamics within our nervous systems as we navigate the world. Dr. Stephen Porges, a distinguished neuroscientist and psychologist, introduced the Polyvagal Theory to deepen our comprehension of how the body and brain collaborate in response to environmental stressors, including significant life events such as trauma.
According to Dr. Porges’ theory, our nervous system exhibits three primary response states or branches: mobilization, immobilization, and social engagement. Dr. Porges’ research underscores that these states are not entirely distinct but rather form a continuous spectrum experienced throughout our daily lives. Hence, these three states represent not isolated entities but rather a continuum through which we maneuver on a daily basis.
Despite being regulated by different components of our nervous system, Dr. Porges teaches us that all three states are directly overseen by the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve, spanning from the brain to the digestive system, serves as a crucial pathway connecting the brain with the body and helps with regulating heart rate, breathing, digestion, and influencing emotional states.
Polyvagal Theory suggests that understanding the fluctuations in these different response states can empower us to better manage our own health and well-being, as well as gain insights into the behavior of others.
Three Primary Response States
Sympathetic or Mobilization Fight or Flight
Dorsal vagal or Immobilization Shut Down
Ventral Vagal or Social Engagement
Sympathetic or Mobilization
Understanding Fight or flight and your child
The ‘mobilization’ aspect of the fight or flight response, as described by Dr. Porges in the Polyvagal Theory, is triggered in dangerous situations, preparing our bodies to either fight or flee for survival.
For a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance or a hypersensitive nervous system, certain situations or environmental factors can activate this threat response.
As parents, it can be bewildering to witness our child’s reactions to various people, places, or things because our own nervous systems aren’t responding with the same intensity of fight or flight, given our understanding that we are safe.
Understanding this can provide insight when you observe your child hitting, throwing, hiding, hissing, or growling, for example, as a response to something in the environment that you perceive as relatively harmless, given their nervous system disability.
Since we also know that the demands or loss of autonomy is perceived by our children as a threat, it only magnifies how lowering the demands placed on our children daily and increasing their autonomy can help lower their cumulative threat response and keep them in the ventral vagal or social engagement part of their nervous system, where all learning and connection are possible.
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Dorsal Vagal or Immobilization
Understanding shut down and your child
The second state that Dr. Porges teaches us about the Polyvagal Theory is what is referred to as ‘immobilization,’ or as I am referring to it, ‘shut down.’ This response is activated when we are feeling overwhelmed or powerless in a situation. Our bodies may enter a sort of freeze state, characterized by slowed heart rate, reduced breathing, and a sense of dissociation.
Again, for a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance or a hypersensitive nervous system, certain situations or environmental factors can trigger this threat response. As parents, it can be frightening to witness our children detach from life and become almost a shell of their former selves. It may seem that this response comes out of nowhere for our PDA children, but the threat response is cumulative. Therefore, if your child is shutting down or detaching from themselves, it is more than likely due to their nervous system being completely overwhelmed or feeling powerless.
Once more, this only amplifies the need for parents of children with sensitive nervous systems or nervous system disabilities to work on lowering the demands that overwhelm their systems and increase autonomy, so they no longer feel as powerless and threatened.
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Ventral Vagal
Understanding social engagement and your child
The third state, which Dr. Porges refers to as ‘ventral vagal‘ or also as social engagement, is activated when we feel safe in our environment and connected to others. In this state of safety, we are able to relax and engage socially with others. This is communicated through our body as well, including our eyes, facial expression, and tone.
It is important that as parents of children with PDA or a sensitive nervous system, we choose a parenting technique that prioritizes our children feeling safe by lowering the demands, increasing autonomy, and building trust. This allows them to stay in the social engagement or ventral vagal response state as much and as often as possible.
Understanding that the threat response is cumulative and that ventral vagal occurs only with a feeling of safety and connection, our parenting technique should also value these principles. High autonomy fosters trust and deep meaningful connections to form, while lowering demands reduces pressure on the nervous system, enabling our children to access important skills such as play, creativity, and relationship building.
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Three Key Principles of the Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal Theory has three defining principles: the hierarchy of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) per PVT, neuroception, and co-regulation.
Hierarchy of the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS)
The Polyvagal principle of hierarchy, as outlined by Deb Dana (2018) through the concept of the autonomic ladder, illustrates how the vagus nerve guides us through various physiological states in response to our perception of safety or danger in our environment via neuroception. These shifts occur subconsciously and form the foundation of our emotional experiences.
Rather than being isolated, these states often overlap, giving rise to hybrid states that accommodate a range of behaviors from calmness to active responses in both safe and threatening situations.
Ventral Vagal
In this state, our social engagement system is active, our nervous system is calm, and we feel secure enough to connect with others and focus on what is happening right now, fostering a sense of safety conducive to learning. We feel connected, secure, and relaxed.
Sympathetic
The sympathetic state emerges when we perceive unease or danger, prompting the fight-or-flight response. We feel driven to take action to reduce the threat, and the world seems dangerous or overwhelming.
Dorsal Vagal
This state serves as a last resort when we struggle to manage a threat or a buildup of threats. Feelings of hopelessness surface as our body and mind conserve energy, resulting in a sense of detachment from ourselves and our environment. This state is closely linked with experiencing burnout.
Some children with more sensitive nervous systems, such as our children with PDA, can rapidly shift between these states. This can cause confusion for parents as they try to decipher what appears to be baffling behaviors. We all experience a blend of these three states as we move throughout our day.
Click to see a visual representation of the Polyvagal Institute Autonomic Nervous System Polyvagal Theory Diagram Graphic 2023.
Neuroception
Understanding your child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) hinges on embracing the concept of neuroception, first introduced by Dr. Stephen Porges in 2004. Rather than solely analyzing their behaviors or sensory needs, neuroception prompts us to shift our perspective towards considering their nervous system function as a primary focus.
By shifting our focus away from assuming that behavior is intentional or controllable, we can redirect our attention to neuroception. This perspective allows us to recognize that our child’s behavior stems from the survival brain and operates at a subconscious level. Thus, they are not actively choosing their actions; rather, they may have an oversensitive neuroception that continuously detects threats in seemingly safe situations.
The perception of threat as opposed to safety serves as the underlying cause of challenging behavior for many neurodivergent children. This heightened sensitivity can pose challenges in meeting their basic needs, including eating, sleeping, self-care, toileting, and social connection. For children with PDA, their threat response is often triggered by the perception of a loss of autonomy or relational imbalance. This can cause the child’s brain to interpret the situation as a mortal danger and consequently shift their nervous system into mobilization (fight or flight) or immobilization (freeze or fawn) subconsciously via neuroception.
What leads a child to feel like they have lost their autonomy or that their relationship is imbalanced? This can be influenced by external factors in the child’s environment such as parents or teachers and the cues of safety or threat they emit, such as facial expressions, tone, body language, or demands. It can also be an internal factor such as feeling tired or hungry. According to Dr. Porges, the process of shifting from one nervous system state to another occurs within the child’s body before they are even consciously aware of it. This is a survival response designed to keep our bodies safe and alive.
We must shift away from the notion that our children exhibit undesirable behaviors due to questionable character or manipulation. In reality, their behaviors are physical reactions stemming from neuroception.
By embracing this understanding, we can approach our children with compassion, empathy, and a willingness to accommodate, thus better meeting their needs and uncovering our path to more peace at home.
Co-regulation
Dr. Porges teaches us that, often without realizing it, we send signals to each other that indicate whether we feel safe or threatened. These signals influence our comfort levels in getting closer to someone or maintaining distance.
The Polyvagal Theory (PVT) helps us understand this process through our ‘social engagement system.’ Essentially, specific pathways in our brainstem enable us to remain calm in the face of danger, while also allowing us to display friendly facial expressions, nod, and use a welcoming tone of voice to signal openness to communication.
This process is known as co-regulation or as it has been referred to as sharing your calm. Consequently, coregulation plays a crucial role in helping children form calming connections in their brain. Your calming energy translates to your child’s sense of calmness.
Co-regulation starts before birth through the bond between mother and baby. During pregnancy, the baby hears the mother’s voice, associating it with safety. In infancy, the baby connects the mother’s voice with her smile. Later, as a toddler, the child can seek comfort and regulation after a fall, for instance, by listening to the mother’s voice and observing her face and smile.
Co-regulation is an essential aspect of nervous system regulation, and parents play a vital role in helping children transition between different states of their autonomic nervous system.
Conversely, a lack of emotionally safe and nurturing relationships in childhood makes children less likely to become happy, healthy, independent, and resilient adults (Winston & Chicot 2016).
Dr. Porges’ Polyvagal Theory provides a roadmap for understanding our nervous system, helping us form secure connections with others. This helps us build a personal foundation that supports self-regulation and overall feeling of trust and safety.
There’s no greater gift we can give to our PDA children than the ability to feel safe in their own body and their overall well-being.
references:
Polyvagal Institute.” (2024, May 13). What Is The Polyvagal Theory. Retrieved from https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory
Winston, R., & Chicot, R. (2016). The importance of early bonding on the long-term mental health and resilience of children. London journal of primary care, 8(1), 12–14. https://doi.org/10.1080/17571472.2015.1133012
Dana, D. 2018. The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the rhythm of regulation. W W Norton & Co.
Porges, Stephen. (2004). “Neuroception: A Subconscious System for Detecting Threats and Safety” ZERO to THREE 2-4, no. 5